Turning My Back On You

When I was 4, my father bought me a pair of boots and a set of the national team jersey. He embeded my name at the back. He told me one day, he wants to see me on television representing Singapore. I told myself I want to make him proud. Sadly god love him more than I do. He left the world even before seeing me on television and I was only 7 years old on that point. Maybe he wont be able to be by my side giving me all the support i need but i believe he is always looking after me from the top. I had a dream, but I knew it was only a dream. I’ve never had too much expectations of myself. And then ever since of his absent, I was given alot of opportunity to catch my dream. called-up into the National Football Academy since i was 12 years old,25 were handpicked island-wide amongst all 1992 babies.

I can’t fulfill my father’s vision. But at least I was one step away. I didn’t get to play on TV but my name with “Bin Ahmad” was on the newspapers for my father to read. I didn’t get the opportunity to play for the senior team yet, but I wore a flag on my chest and my name embeded on my back for real. And its an honour to represent the country playing with the best young players in Singapore and against the best young players in the World. Its already a dream come true for me and I hope I made my father proud. I had my limelights, perhaps I dont need the spotlight. I hate to give up, but my knee wouldn’t function like it used to. I’m taking mum’s orders.

I’ve been hit by the hardest rocks and waves lately. I need time to change myself. So as I’m turning my back on this blog for a while, I’m turning my back on football for good.     



And lastly I thank you for concerning.I was sick, alone, depressed, staring at the ground.I have too much to think, yet I really dont know what to do.And then one call wiped that frown away.No one makes me feel the way you do.Iloveyoualwaysangemily!